The love language in which you communicate your affection may be different from the language in which you want people to communicate theirs to you. It may also be the same! Obviously, we can feel challenged by more than one language of love. On the other hand, there will always be only one who dominates.
Most of us are not even aware of how we communicate our love, or even how we are communicated that of others. Many very harmless couple conflicts usually start with a misunderstanding of our partner's love language.
This theory of ways to love began to spread when the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, published in 1992, simply became a Best Seller. The author is a marriage counselor and seminar leader for couples.
How to improve his understanding of his or her partner? By better understanding and respecting the emotional needs of the loved one. We are all unique and we all need to feel loved in some way that may be different.
It is about valuing his or her partner by offering words of encouragement, support and appreciation. It is also by giving him compliments, thanks and recognition. The lyrics are very important for the person who speaks this language of love.
The person who speaks this language of love is going to want to prioritize quality time with the loved one. His emotional need is to spend as much time as possible with his or her partner, regardless of the type of activity. It also includes listening to the other when he or she speaks and giving them 100% of their attention during special times spent together.
They are visible and concrete symbols of love. The gift can be free, handmade or purchased. The person who speaks this language feels loved when they receive gifts out of context, without a special occasion. It is a sign that the other was thinking of her and wanted to please her.
These are small daily gestures that help and improve the comfort of the other. For example, to clear snow from his partner's car, to go shopping, to clean his dishes, to wash his carpet, to repair his broken furniture, etc. It doesn't matter what kind of service it is, as long as it comes from the own initiative of the person doing it.
It's super simple: to show your love to the person who speaks this language, you have to touch them. So you can hold her hand, kiss her often, caress her, make love, give her a massage, stroke her hair, watch a bonded movie, etc.
It's very simple, for your couple to be well, you must learn to speak the language of love from your partner. It might feel less natural at first to have to communicate your love in another way, but it's worth a try, right?